Quiet night at the bar last night, spent most of the night chatting with my mate Dave. He's quite the character as are most people from Liverpool, England. Well as I said it was pretty slow so we had time to talk about many things, from football, (the real football, you know the one that you actually use your foot- hence the name), to personal fears and so on. Well he starts telling me his fear of thinking that there's someone under his bed. It went something like this:
Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a shrink and told him. . . 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.'
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears."
"How much do you charge?"
"$90 per visit," replied the Doctor.
"I'll sleep on it," I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street.
'Why didn't you ever come to see me about those fears you were having,' he asked.
'Well, ninety bucks a visit, three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! My friend the bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went out and bought myself a new custom fitted suit!'
'Is that so!' With a bit of an attitude, he said, 'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?'
'He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!'
Apparently six months ago I gave my good friend Dave that advice- who knew I was so brilliant.
SO GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BARTENDER! LIFE IS TOO SHORT!
AND REMEMBER TO ALWAYS TIP YOUR BARTENDER, THERE A LOT CHEAPER
THAN A SHRINK.