Is America Over Weight?

I was reading the Sunday New York Times today and there was an article saying "Obesity is at epidemic levels in America". So what they are saying is laziness is at epidemic levels in America. They say obesity is a disease, no its not, leprosy is a disease, diabetes is a disease, obesity is not a disease. They say its a glandular thing, no its a greed thing. They say, no their just big boned, yes that's right, big bones covered in meat and gravy. Stop eating fast food and walk once in a while, you lazy fuckers. I live in New York City where we all walk a lot. Get off your arse America.

God Bless You Chris- Miss Ya!!

I was actually in the local diner reading this article and I notice how greedy people can be. For instance, you get free coffee refills in most diners but as I sit here I notice how much people can really abuse this. Would you have seven cheese burgers if you got free refills- actually most Americans probably would, stop drinking all the coffee you greedy bastards. I was talking to this guy at the bar the other night. He told me that he was in England and Ireland recently and was disappointed that when he ordered a sandwich in a deli, that he only got two pieces of meat in a sandwich, whereas in America you get half a pig. I told him, in Ireland and England they make their sandwiches to fit their mouths.
I'm actually on a diet right now myself, its that diet where you eat a lot of vegetables and drink lots of beer, I lost 10 pounds and my drivers license.

In a recent research, experts say, personality can trigger weight gain- especially when you have the personality of a fat fucker!

What we all need to do is start eating healthy and stay out of fast food joints like McDonald's and KFC. I think personally KFC is a bit like sex, its great while your doing it but afterwards you feel a bit dirty and your hands are sticky. By the way, you ever notice that the people that are against abortion you wouldn't want to fuck anyway!!
I see girls come into the bar wearing tank tops, listen girls, if your built like a tank don't wear the top. Crispy Creme donuts are now coming out with a drinkable donut- good news for fat people that don't want to chew. I rest my case.

So please America get healthy, we can do it and always tip your bartender!!

Happy Presidents Day

Well the bar is closed today for Presidents day, its always nice to get an extra day off, so happy Presidents day everybody. God bless all. President George Bush said he really loves Presidents day, as he always looks forward to all the presents.

President Bush said every illegal immigrant coming to America should learn English, "if I was moving to Canada I would learn Canadian" way to go George!!! I am definitely getting audited this year. He was recently in England and he had to go in to hospital for an emergency circumcision, but the doctor said he would not be able to do the operation, as he said, there is no end to this prick. When having sex George Bush always has to be on the bottom as he can only fuck up.!!!
Vice President Dick Cheney said today that if everything goes well with the war in Iraq there will be 3 different countries, regular, unleaded, and supreme?

That reminds me of the night Monica Lewinsky came into the bar. So I ask her who will you be voting for in the upcoming Presidential elections. Will you be voting for Hillary Clinton, (don't get a head of me people), Barack Obama or John McCain. She said that she would be voting Republican as the Democrats left a bad taste in her mouth. So I guess its John McCain for President then, thanks Monica.

All good bartenders have jokes, here's one- President Bush, Pope Benedict, and Michael Jackson are on a plane and its going down and they only have 2 parachutes, the crew say to the Pope, we think you should be the first to take a parachute, you need to survive, the Pope says no, I can't, what about the children aboard the plane, President Bush says, fuck the children, and Michael Jackson says, do you think we have time?

Cheers everyone enjoy Presidents Day, God Bless America, and remember to tip your bartender.