Central Park: The Eighth Wonder Of The World?

Being a Bartender in New York City is amazing. Its the most fun you can have with your pants on, sometimes off. I will continue to do it until I stop enjoying it. However like every job there are times when its difficult and stressful. That is way I love to go to Central Park, in the heart of New York City. If its only for an hour once in a while, for me its like a mini holiday. Its my NYC shrink, and costs a lot less. A big couch in the middle of the city. Central Park is like the heart that beats New York City for me. I like to run, and for me there is no place like Central Park. By the way, talking about exercising and all that; is there a rule that the older you are at the gym the more naked you need to be- just a thought.  Anyway, once you enter the park everything slows down and gets so tranquil. The energy is high, exciting and it pulls you in. The park is over 150 years old, over 80% is below street level, over 800 acres, first public park built in America, and the perimeter is over six miles long from 59Th street to 110 street. By the way, whats the hardest thing about rollerblading? Telling your parents your gay!!  Thats for all those male rollerblade fuck heads that fly all over the place and continually get in my way.  The women are cool !!!

There are so many points of interest, I could not possibly mention them all, and to be honest I don't want to share them all as I want them all to myself. But here's a few, go see John over by the plaza at 59Th street on the south east corner of the park. He is a real character, look for him and romeo- his white and black spotted horse. Take a ride with him on his horse and carriage, he's full of fascinating information and stories.  Ask him about David Beckham, Tom Cruise and Al Pacino, just to name a few.

Where John is, go in to the beautiful park on the south east corner, as you go down the steps to the park and the pond, there is a German light post which was dedicated to the German village that used to be there. Up by the Metropolitan Museum of Art at 83rd street and 5Th avenue, there is a black statue that is dedicated to the black village that was once there, and by the Columbus Circle entrance at 59Th street and Central Park West, where the Irish village once was, there is a banjo and a couple of empty bottle's of whiskey, to represent the Irish village that used to be in that part of the park!!!

There's actually a Scottish man that always plays his bagpipes just south of the Met at 82nd street in the park, sporting his kilt and all. He sounds great. There's nothing quite like the sound of the bagpipes. Once you hear them in the park, particularly when the sun is going down, its remarkable and haunting.  By the way, you know the difference between an onion and a bagpipe- nobody cries when you chop up a bagpipe.  That ones for my Scottish pal Stevie.

At 72nd street and Central Park South it is always nice to stop by Strawberry Fields and relax by the imagine sign that was put there in honor of the late, great John Lennon who was tragically shot across the street outside of the Dakota building where yoko ono still lives.

Then head down to Heckscher ball fields at west 63rd street, bring a sandwich and look for smokie, he will get you a beer to wash down your lunch. In the summer time there are continuous baseball and softball games, a lot from the local Broadways shows. A great place to relax, have a beer and take it all in. I think a lot of New Yorkers take Central Park for granted and forget how beautiful the park really is, oh the simple things in life.

Now that's enough for now, when your finished in the park come down to my bar have a beer and don't forget to give my a tip especially now after all this great information I've just given you, cheers and your welcome!!

Another Funny Bar Story

This Irish man walked into the bar a few weeks ago and ordered three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the bar, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
I said to him, "you know, a pint goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time", the Irishman replies to me, "Well you see, I have two brothers. One is in Australia, the other in Dublin, and I'm here in New York. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we all drank together when we were all back in Dublin".
I said that, that was a nice custom, and I left it there. The Irish man has become a regular over the last few weeks and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints of Guinness and drinks the three pints by taking sips from each of them in turn.
Well last night he came in to the bar and orders two pints. All the regulars and myself notice and we all fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for a second round, I say to him, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I want to offer my condolences to you on your great loss".
He looks at me confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. "Oh no" he says to me, "Everyone is fine. Its me..." "... I've quit drinking !!!

You meet them all in the bar, and don't forget to tip your Bartender- Cheers!!

By the way: These two Irish guys walk out of a bar- its could happen.

My Aunt Died

Well today my favourite Irish aunt died, she lived a great long life. She was actually 106 years young when she died, so don't feel to bad.

We used to call her antique. She used to go up to statues and say to people "I fucked him". She used to go into the store Old Navy looking for sailors.

My friend Dave today actually asked me how she died, oh she died of a heart attack after teaching a crunch yoga class, she died of a heart attack in the mosh pit at a Metallica concert, her shoot didn't open- she was 106 everybody. By the way whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral- one less drunk. Rest In Peace!!

Cheers to my aunt, now go out and have a drink and tip your bartender!!!

Morrissey In town tonight

All you Irish and British fans of the smiths, (English man with an Irish heart), will love the return of Morrissey to NY tonight and through the week in one of New York's hippiest and coolest venues the Manhattan Center / Hammerstein ballroom.

Great night tonight at the bar, good crowd with little incidents, loads of tips.

Sometimes I just don't get people, a bunch of people come into the bar at around 345am and ask me for a round of drinks and I oblige them, a couple of pints of beer and a few shots. They pay by credit card and don't leave me a tip, which is fine by me, honestly!!!! Now its about 405am and the guy that just stiffed me asks me for another round after closing time. You want to stay after 4am and give you another round of drinks and you didn't give me a tip, you must be completely fucked in the head. Listen your the first to go arsehole. People want another drink after closing time and you don't tip me, what are you a complete moron, seriously you would have to be, I just don't get people some times.

That reminds me, a man comes into the bar with just a head, he says its his son who was born without a body. He says its his sons 21Th birthday so drinks for everyone. All of a sudden after he helps his son drink his body appears and now his son has a complete body, arms and legs the whole nine yards -its a miracle!!! So they decide to celebrate and have another drink but this time it has the opposite affect and his son turns back into just a head again, the arms and legs disappear and he is once again just a head, so I say to him, " you should have quit while you were ahead " Cheers