Sunday, August 10, 2008

My Aunt Died

Well today my favourite Irish aunt died, she lived a great long life. She was actually 106 years young when she died, so don't feel to bad.

We used to call her antique. She used to go up to statues and say to people "I fucked him". She used to go into the store Old Navy looking for sailors.

My friend Dave today actually asked me how she died, oh she died of a heart attack after teaching a crunch yoga class, she died of a heart attack in the mosh pit at a Metallica concert, her shoot didn't open- she was 106 everybody. By the way whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral- one less drunk. Rest In Peace!!

Cheers to my aunt, now go out and have a drink and tip your bartender!!!

Friday, August 8, 2008


I have a lawyer friend that comes into the bar, he's a nice guy but he is a lawyer so you have to fuck with them.

I said to him, whats the difference between a prostitute and a lawyer, a prostitute will stop fucking you when your dead.

I guy comes into the bar shouting and screaming the other night saying, all lawyers are assholes, all lawyers are assholes, this man runs up to him and says, I'm offended by that, the other guy says, what are you a lawyer, no he says, I'm an asshole.

This women goes to the doctor and asks the doctor, can women get pregnant from anal sex, of course they can says the doctor, where do you think lawyers come from!!!!

So he says to me, why are there no Irish lawyers, because they can't pass the bar. I suppose I had that one coming. Cheers