newyorkcitybartender: Pope Benedict- Holy Shit!!

newyorkcitybartender: Pope Benedict- Holy Shit!!: Pope Benedict is believed to have gotten the bird flu, they think he might have got it from one of the Cardinals. Now we have the swine flu ...

Hot In The City Tonight

Its hot today in the city, I'm sweating like R Kelly at a girl scout meeting, like an Israeli bus driver, like a priest at a boy scout meeting . They say its all that Global warming stuff- who knows? I heard the actor Vin Diesel in support of Global Warming has changed his name from Vin Diesel to Vin Ethanol- well done Vin, it all helps.

At least the homeless people in New York City are happy with the longer warmer months. I actually only date homeless people because when the date is over you can drop them off anywhere.

Man comes into the bar tonight and sits by the window at the end of the bar, its basically just off eight avenue- "Hells Kitchen". Well I notice that every time a truck goes by the window that he starts shaking uncontrollably, and when you can't hear the truck anymore he stops shaking. So I ask this man, "why every time a truck goes by, do you start shaking", he says "well, honestly, its because (Stopping as if he's changing gears in his own truck) my wife ran off with a truck driver; and every time I hear a truck; I think he's bringing her back"!!
You can't make that up- brilliant.

Remember tip your bartender!!

Is America Over Weight?

I was reading the Sunday New York Times today and there was an article saying "Obesity is at epidemic levels in America". So what they are saying is laziness is at epidemic levels in America. They say obesity is a disease, no its not, leprosy is a disease, diabetes is a disease, obesity is not a disease. They say its a glandular thing, no its a greed thing. They say, no their just big boned, yes that's right, big bones covered in meat and gravy. Stop eating fast food and walk once in a while, you lazy fuckers. I live in New York City where we all walk a lot. Get off your arse America.

God Bless You Chris- Miss Ya!!

I was actually in the local diner reading this article and I notice how greedy people can be. For instance, you get free coffee refills in most diners but as I sit here I notice how much people can really abuse this. Would you have seven cheese burgers if you got free refills- actually most Americans probably would, stop drinking all the coffee you greedy bastards. I was talking to this guy at the bar the other night. He told me that he was in England and Ireland recently and was disappointed that when he ordered a sandwich in a deli, that he only got two pieces of meat in a sandwich, whereas in America you get half a pig. I told him, in Ireland and England they make their sandwiches to fit their mouths.
I'm actually on a diet right now myself, its that diet where you eat a lot of vegetables and drink lots of beer, I lost 10 pounds and my drivers license.

In a recent research, experts say, personality can trigger weight gain- especially when you have the personality of a fat fucker!

What we all need to do is start eating healthy and stay out of fast food joints like McDonald's and KFC. I think personally KFC is a bit like sex, its great while your doing it but afterwards you feel a bit dirty and your hands are sticky. By the way, you ever notice that the people that are against abortion you wouldn't want to fuck anyway!!
I see girls come into the bar wearing tank tops, listen girls, if your built like a tank don't wear the top. Crispy Creme donuts are now coming out with a drinkable donut- good news for fat people that don't want to chew. I rest my case.

So please America get healthy, we can do it and always tip your bartender!!