Tuesday, November 27, 2007

John Mayer Does Comedy?

It was Sunday night, my night off from the bar, so I decided to go to the Comedy Cellar Comedy Club on Macdougal street which is between west 3rd and Bleecker street and we all got a surprise guest appearance from yours truly John Mayer, you know the singer. Well let me tell you all he's a better singer, he was about as funny as a snot in my cup of tea. I will give him credit for getting up there and giving it a go. I went there to see one of my favourite comedians Dave Attel, who is always funny and original. If your in New York you have to go to the comedy cellar as its the best in the city. Anyway we had a great New York night and only in New York can you go out to a comedy club and see the singer John Mayer do stand up comedy. Well I just wanted to share that story with you and your welcome.

I was with my beautiful girlfriend at the show and we had a great time, we have been dating a while now and all is good, but as we all know dating can be tough. I remember one time dating a girl all summer long because she had air conditioning and I didn't, sometimes you just need to survive, you know it gets hot in New York in the summer. I dated a cop for a while, for years the law was doing me, but then I was doing the law- I loved it. There all hard, being married, single you have to work on them all. It basically boils down to; do you want to be lonely or annoyed and whichever one you can handle the best you should go for it. Well as we all know New York is not cheap so I must get back to the bar to make some money so cheers for now and remember to tip your bartender.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Alcohol

Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean....... against tables, floors, chairs, walls and ugly fuckers, so be careful my friends.
You know when you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name and you've never been there before. Alcoholic friend of mine getting married and he is registered to the local liquor store. He tried the alcoholic anonymous 12 step program but he fell down the steps.
Happy holidays everyone now go out and have a drink and tip your bartender, cheers!!!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Dane Cook in MSG

The bar is busy as people are coming in to warm up from the cold. Making a lot of hot whiskeys and Irish coffee's. On my night off on Sunday, I went to see the Comedian Dane Cook in Madison Square Garden. Always exciting to go to the Garden as they say its the worlds most famous arena. Anyway Dane Cook was pretty funny, you have to give it too him, he sold out two shows in the one night just him no warm up artists, just him. He said that his dad would always say to him when he was a kid, "Don't try and pull the wool over my eyes, you know I've been around the block" and Dane would say " that's because your too drunk to find the house", I taught that was pretty funny and it reminded me of my dad.

Did you hear today in the New York Daily Newspaper that the lead singer from Metallica, Jimmy Hetfield was arrested today in Kennedy Airport for continually setting off the heavy metal detectors?

New drink in the bar is called a Starburst which is, all the flavored Stoli's and cranberry juice in a shot, and were not finished there, then you drop it in a half pint of red bull. My friend, lets say "Bob" had this drink and before he noticed ended up with more southern hospitality than he excepted, grits and all. How do you get two people together that have no reason being together- Starburst!!! But did he get the real southern hospitality, that's for our imagination.

Cheers Bob and good luck to all, tip your bartender!!!

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

New York City Marathon

Marathon weekend in New York, its a great day and very inspiring. I heard a polish man won the race and he did a lap of honor, now that's a long lap. I love to run myself and Central Park where I usually go is one of the most remarkable and beautiful parks I have ever seen, I think New Yorkers take it for granted and don't realize how amazing it is, anyway I went to buy a new pair of running shoes in foot locker on 44TH and Time square the other day, when I got home I noticed that there was only one shoe lace in the box, I was obviously a little pissed off but then I read the box and it said "Taiwan"- think about it people.

I went up to see the end of the Marathon at Columbus circle at the south west corner of Central Park, I got the A train from 42ND street and 8TH ave right to 59TH and Columbus Circle, the subway is the best way to get around in this town.

If your a tourist go down to any subway station ask the person in the booth for a free subway map get your bearings and go off and explore this great city, its that easy- except for all the people, the un-audible announcement on the subway trains and the rude staff, its all good, that's why its important to have your map and be prepared, plus there is always a map on the trains and the platforms.

For the New Yorkers we all know that the seat underneath the map on the subway is the worst seat on the train as people are contently coming up looking at the map and sticking there dirty sweaty balls, big tits or smelly arse's in your face while they are figuring out what stop to get off at!!! Enjoy and Cheers for now.