My two friends Tony and Steve are telling me this story at the bar one day.
Two buddies of mine, Tony and Steve, are getting very drunk at the bar when suddenly Steve throws up all over himself. "oh no, now my wife Jane will kill me" he says. Tony says, "Don't worry pal, just tuck a twenty dollar bill in your breast pocket, tell Jane that someone threw up on you and he gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill".
So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker. Eventually Steve rolls into home and his wife Jane starts to give him a bad time. "You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself, my God, you're disgusting".
Speaking very carefully so as not to slur, Steve says, "Nowainaminit, I can e'splain everythin! itsh snot wha jew think, I only had a cupla drrrinks, but thiss other guy got ssick on me... he had one too many and he juss couldin hold hizz liguor, he said he was verrry sorry an' gave me twennie dollars for the cleaning bill!".
Jane looks in the breast pocket and says, "But this is forty dollars". "Oh, yeah.... I almos' fergot, he shhhit in my pants, too".