Thursday, July 2, 2009

Bartenders Don't Like To Hear Their Tips!!!

This Blog is for all the bartenders that read my blog, the people that eat their dinner standing up, the people that have a great job but have to put up with wankers once in a while. We know the people, the people that come into bars and ask for extra liqueur or I can't taste the liqueur,or," by the way there's going to be a lot of or's", or, can I have it with no ice, or straight up with coke on the side, or hook me up!!! That's the best line, Hook Me Up, but fail every time to hook up the bartender. When will "These people" get it, you get nothing for nothing especially when you don't tip. Bartenders and most people, we all know the people I am talking about. The people that want everything and give zero in return. Slavery was abolished many moons ago, let it go. I love the verbal tip, the one where they say how wonderful everything was and then walk out the fucking door. Even better when people say, I would like a greyhound,(which is just vodka and grapefruit juice), Oh its so hard to say vodka and grapefruit. I usually say the pet shop is up the block, this is a bar douche bag. I had this girl come in tonight and say, can I have a cuba libre, which I found out is simply a rum and coke. Now I have been bar tending for over ten years now and I have never heard of a rum and coke been referred to anything else but a rum and coke. Would you ever get over yourself and get a fuckin life. Its a rum and coke, its not a cuba libre, that some place in Cuba where some of us are not allowed to go, hope your allowed to go, miss cuba libre- why don't you go and stay the fuck there, you pretences twat.

I had these three people that came into the bar the other night and were questioning the price of the drinks as all these cunts do; if you have to question the price of the drink, stay the fuck home, you oxygen wasters. Anyway they are questioning the price of the drink and I tell them its the price and that's it, anyway they do this purposely so as to make them feel ok about leaving no tip. So they leave me 5 cent as a tip, remember the headline, I don't like to hear my tip. So a couple of days go by and I see the big tippers in the bar again so I get 5 cent out of the register and give it back to the people and say, you left this here last week do you want change.
Remember for every action there is always a reaction. Well they say to me that I was so rude, rude I say, I'm not the one leaving 5 cent tips- go fuck yourself.

I like to keep my blog funny because that's what I'm really interested in, so I want to tell you a funny story.
This man was telling me this story the other night and I thought it was so funny. This guy leaves the bar one night and at the end of the street there is a diner where a lot of taxi people park out side to go to the diner. So this guy jumps into a taxi with the keys in it, and he is obviously fucked up drunk and some how makes it home to Queens. Well he wake's up the next morning all hung over and feeling bad. His wife is all pissed off at him for coming home late and drunk. So she says to him, I hope you didn't drive home at least, I hope you got a taxi home, he says nothing for a second puts his head out the window of his apartment and says, of course I did, I got a taxi home, and the taxi he stole a few hours before is still outside his door. He swears that's a true story.

Cheers everyone tip your bartenders, even cabby's!!!

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