Last chapter?

This was supposed to be a short term gig, work as a bartender for a while make some money have lots of fun, do some travelling and position myself for the next big deal. Well that was the plan anyway. Well ten years has almost passed and I'm still a bartender on the lovely west side of Manhattan, Hells Kitchen area, the Manhattan Riviera. Business is still good considering our economic times, the same people come through the doors, slaves to their jobs, coming in before they take their two hour bus or train from Port Authority or Penn Station only to come back the next day to do it all again, what an existence. Everybody is living for their 401k and pension, pension this and pension that, and they forget to live for the moment. By the looks of things there will be nothing left anyway, no 401k or pension. Its when I see these people that I realize things for me are not so bad. I live up the street, have a ton of fun behind the bar, I've met some incredible people, made lots of friends, I see my boss once in a while, nobody really bothers me, except for the odd gangster, robber, homosexual, lesbian, midget and pervert. You know what? Bring it on, here's to another night behind the bar.

And don't forget to always tip your bartender.

The Homeless

I was on the subway the other day with a big bag of change on my way to the coin star machine at Commerce bank on 42ND and 9Th avenue when I realized it was not a good idea. Whats the last thing you want to see on the way to cash in change at the local bank?. That's right homeless people, because of the cold weather right now all the homeless people are in the subways trying to keep warm. Everywhere I went I heard the same thing, any spare change, and me with a big bag of change. By the time I got to the bank I had no spare change, God bless the homeless.

Quick story, Abdul and Paddy are beggars outside Port Authority Bus Station on 42ND street. Abdul has a Mercedes car, a large house in the suburbs and loads of money. Paddy has fuck all. Abdul's begging hat is always overflowing with money, Paddy's has a few coins in it. "How do you do it", asked Paddy. "Look at your sign", says Abdul. Paddy reads his sign. "Out of work and wife and six kids need support". Then he reads Abdul's. "I only need another $10 to get back to Afghanistan".

Actually I only date homeless people these days, because when the date is over you can drop them off anywhere.

A homeless man asked me, can I have $300 for a cup of coffee, I told him, coffees a dollar, he said, yeah, but I want to drink it in Brazil.

Another one came up to me saying, I haven't eaten in two days, I said, you should really force yourself. That was for the other smart fucker.

The homeless can be very funny and imaginative and when they are you got to give it up I think. There's this one homeless guy, Richie, that comes into the bar late at night, that I would hope is a friend, helps me out if I need anything. He usually hangs out around the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel with a big sign saying, lets do lunch, you pay. Pretty funny right.

Good luck and stay warm, and tip the homeless if you can, especially Richie!!!!

Back in the Big Apple

Well back in New York City again, sometimes you have to leave NY to realize how amazing, and how much I miss this city. I remember the first time I came to NY, I got a bus from JFK airport to Port Authority bus station on 42nd in Manhattan. So I ask this man outside the bus station where's 34Th and 9Th avenue and he says "go fuck ya self", I was like, yes I have arrived, this is my kind of town. So I eventually start walking downtime and I notice all these religious, Jesus freaks. They are everywhere in Manhattan especially around the bus stations, with their religious speeches and their big crosses everywhere, nothing for nothing, if Jesus comes back to save us all, I think the last thing he wants to see is a cross.

That reminds me, there's a catholic priest and a rabbi outside a deli one day, along comes a young boy walking by and the priest says "how about we grab this kid and screw him" and the rabbi says "out of what". A Priest, a Rapist and a Pedophile walk into a bar....... that was just the first guy!!!!!! I know everyone, I'm going straight to hell for that one, well as my dad would say, Its only a joke.