Las Vegas

Had a great week behind the bar, made lots of tips, so I decided to go to Las Vegas. There's no better place to go with a pocket full of cash than Vegas- Right.  So me and the girlfriend arrive in Vegas about 7pm on Saturday night- ready to party.  I just left Manhattan, NYC- party central; but really we are amateurs compared to Vegas. They put on one hell of a show- at least for three days anyway. Anybody that has been to Las Vegas understands.  Kinda like- Amsterdam.

What a sight to see, the Vegas strip- but it kinda reminds me of New York City. The Taxi drivers from Brooklyn and the first thing he says is, "you know, (In a big brooklyn accent) forgettaboutit, Vegas is running out of water, so they are going to recycle the toilet water". Now I have two problems with that, I say, "number one; and number two"?

Vegas is all smoke and mirrors, the devil's delight, a middle finger to God with all his trees, rocks and little bunny rabbits, all that Disney shite. But you know what, its fantastic, for three days anyway, as I said before. 

Well we find ourselves in the New York, New York Hotel, even though we have just left New York, New York. Walking through the Greenwich Village part of the Hotel, not missing the pigeons and the homosexuals, just kidding Steve.

We have a great time at the MGM Grand Hotel pool in the day time and lose all our money at night time.
We actually met Howie Mandel, you know from the TV show, Deal or No Deal.  I told him that they are actually doing the same show in Africa called, Meal or No Meal, he laughed and walked away.

Speaking of Africa, did you hear that Bono is pleading with the Africans to help the starving Irish!!

I love the slogan they have for Las Vegas, we all know it, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas".  I say, what happens in Vegas you should tell the whole fuckin world, tell everyone because its a mad, brilliant place. But, what happens in the back woods of a West Virginia farm house, or a wee shed in Connemara, Galway, Ireland- now that should stay there.

The MGM Grand Hotel actually has a swim up poker table.  That's one of the many things that makes Vegas "awesome".  So that means you don't have to leave the game to go to the bathroom.  Remember, the Vegas slogan, "What happens in a Vegas pool: stays in a Vegas pool".

Cheers for now and please tip your bartender, especially this broke arse one, remember, I just got back from Vegas- thanks

Another girlfriend Gone?

So my girlfriend decided about a month ago to go back home to Ireland, oh well have a nice trip I will miss ya. So about a week after she left she called me to say that see missed me but would be back when her college year was over. She says to me that she wanted me to send her a dildo as they are "hard" to find in Galway, Ireland. She told me to send it to her mothers house in Waterford as she would be back there in a week for a few weeks during her break from college. So the next day I go to the pink pussy cat on west 4Th street, in the Greenwich village and purchase the dildo- that's a whole other story, for the next blog. I get a big green dildo, (I am Irish you know), and post it off to Waterford, Ireland, a small village on the south east side of Ireland about 100 miles south of Dublin.
About a week after I send it I get an amusing call from my girlfriend Helen. She says I forgot to tell you that my mothers name is also Helen- I think you can see where this is going. So she says to me; my mother goes to get the post the other day and notices a box with her name on it sent all the way from America. Her mother says, oh this is nice it must be from my sister in New York. So what a surprise she got when she opened the box. My girlfriend Helen has told me that her mother has not left her bedroom for two weeks,  and her husband couldn't be happier. Now that's a great end to a story isn't it- when everybody is happy, well two out of three is not to bad-poor Helen.

Well back to the bar and don't forget to tip your bartender but please no dildo's!!