Sunday, March 2, 2008

New York Bartender

Vanna White you know from the television game show wheel of fortune came into the bar the other night, she is a very beautiful, and nice lady, but don't ask her about her show whatever you do. I suppose she must get sick of the same stupid questions, god knows I do. Anyway I asked her what her favorite letters were and she said, F and U or FU. How about that?

As you all know I'm a Bartender in Midtown, Manhattan, why do people tell me things that they think I might be remotely interested in. They tell me the most painful load of crap, how dare they think I could be interested in this shite. You know I can't get that ten minutes of my life back. Hey mister, I don't give a fuck about your kids piano lessons. We all love a good story but most of it is a load of crap, tell it to someone who cares, here's a quarter call someone who cares. I'm like a doctor , I should charge these fuckers by the minute. I was in the bathroom at the urinal and this drunk man comes in and started talking to me and then puts his hand around me. My rule in the toilet is simple, don't touch me when I'm touching me, that's simple right.
One night I was working, it's a slow night and I notice this guy walks into the bathroom and after about half and hour I notice he hasn't came out yet. So I walk in to the bathroom and he's just standing there, I say to him what are you doing, he says, I'm waiting for an employee to wash my hands, as he points to the sign on the wall "employees must wash hands". Do I have to say anything else? I don't think so

Thanks and cheers everyone and please tip your bartender!!

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